mott’s mutterings

This is a really funny tag..quite true somehow. Thanks to nomadic-mom…heh!

88 characteristics of a typical Chinese :

My answers are in PINK! 

1. You look like you are 18.
Ehe……Yes, when I wear my glasses, t-shirt/shorts n flip-flops

2. You like to eat chicken feet.
I never did…but now, I’m lovin’ it!

3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
Oh…gimme curry fish head ANYTIME! Fins? Errr….duh….

4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror.
Solly la… I find them rather distracting.

5. You sing karaoke.
Oh man…if you only saw my video in Facebook! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

6. Your house is covered with tile.
I wish…but, this Aussie Home ain’t. SIgh…

7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease.
Not really. Since maid MIL likes to mop and clean-up everyday. *evil grin*

8. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
No, but maid MIL wants to cover it with alum foil!

9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control.
We lost our remote during the shipment. Sigh..yes, we either have to walk to the TV to change or we don’t bother at all! But, my parents did just that!

10. You’ve never kissed your mom or dad.
Not my mom, but my dad, many times!

11. You’ve never hugged your mom or dad.
Got larrrr….

12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
Oh…for sure, for sure!

13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
Sorry la..I don’t have coke bottle glasses, I have one of those new fangled multi-coated, bla bla bla glasses.

14. You’ve worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
Fifth grade is how old arrr?

15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
Errm…not really, it’s just more like a jungle out there.

16. You’ll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
Ah..but then???!!

17. You love to use coupons.
Don’t you?

18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol.
This, I definitely do. I get damn angry when I’ve filled up and drive pass a cheaper petrol station!

19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
No la…. I just walk la..not pregnant anymore, must lose weight!

20. You take showers at night.
Of coz….must shower EVERY DAY! or night.

21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
If I take, I’d replace it…WAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAKAKAAKKAKAKAKAA!

22. You don’t mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
20????? No la..I don’t have so many pren leh…10 la..mebbe la…

23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male.
I think for most Chinese men, yes!

24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
The Hongkees started this leh…not our fault!

25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
Ah..But then???!!!!!

26. You don’t want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.
Nonsense…must wear. I think this one applies to sei-ah-bengs leh..

27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
I no money for Las Vegas leh..

28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the paper.
Ya la..you think what? Wrapper not worthed it to buy leh!

29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
ERr…I try not to buy at all, send la…e-greeting! FREE!

30. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
No la…

31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. That’s why you need the vinyl tablecloth.
Apalah……u think we what? BARBARIANS AH?

32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
O.o..just got me new fridge..so, is this the beginning of time?

33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
*sheepish grin* Yes…only because I have no space on my beautiful kitchen island for a dishrack! Too unappealing leh!

34. You have never used your dishwasher.
Errr..yea wor..I tried to use it today, but gave up coz it just seemed too much work! Washing by hand seemed easier and faster!

35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
Yea…becoz of Baby, must la…or else, his bottoms wud be wiped with COLD WATER!

36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
I used to coz the dining area is part of kitchen mah…..but in this new home..no la.

37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
Yea..how to save tin-foil? Dirty already mah!

38. You have a piano in your living room.
No la…notchet!

39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
No la…but my folks do!

40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
Yea….but now quite butter fingers…fat already mah!

41. You hate to waste food.
Oh..i eat everything! MUST. NOT. WASTE!

42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
Got got got…even three pieces of leftover delicious char siew, you want?

43. You don’t own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
Everything aso I got, Tupperware, Lock and Lock, Tesco ware, takeaways, jam jars, sauce jars… you want?

44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
Apala this? Got mugs mah…!

45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take ever time you stay in a hotel.
I used to..but sudah dikebas by my boys already!

46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are always dried and include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.
Wahhhh……..*slurps slurps* I love shin-mui’s!!!!!!

47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
I thot it was 7 times! Dammit! My mother conned me!!!

48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
Of course! And so do I!

49. The dashboard of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys.
No la…that Honda didn’t last me very long!

50. You don’t use measuring cups.
Why not? If bake cake, must la!

51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
Chopsticks? You think I who arrrr? Wok With Yan ah?

52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
D-uh..no la…

53. You always look phone numbers up in the! Phone book, since calling information (*69) costs 50 cents.
Now got online…do online lor…

54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
I got capped plan…no need to wait for 11pm.

55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth.
But I’m female and I clap at something funny and laugh damn loud! I don’t giggle leh…So, does that mean I’m really a Chinese Male????!!!!

56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
D-uh? Ah.. but then?

57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
Some only la..

58. You’ve learnt some form of martial arts.
No la..but my brother did!

59. Shaolin actually means something to you.
D-uh…

60. You like congee with thousand-year-old eggs.
Not really leh…

61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
errrrrrr..depends on the sauce 

62. You never call your parents just to say hi.
I just did!

63. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
Eerrr…..midnight? That wud be an emergency call lah.. I dun want that kind of call!

64. When you’re sick, your parents tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods due to yeet hay.
OF COURSE LA! HEATY MAH!

65. You know what yeet hay is.
D-uh..Opps…just answered that in 64.

66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10 feet apart.
Errrr…. yea hor! Too much effort to get up la!

67. You use a face cloth.
For my bubs, yea la…for me, no la.

68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places.
Errr…no la…. If I did, I’d be too grumpy!

69. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
Not in this country.

70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you’re never going to use them again.
Err..no such thing now leh..but coke plastic bottles I save!

71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
Ah but then? I even blogged about how to sharpen it!

72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
Ah..but then?

73. You know what moon cakes are.
Sigh..it’ll be expensive here!

74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
You got that right! So damn ex man, toilet paper!!!!!!

75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
Wah..no la, we IS proper!

76. You iron your own shirts.
If I had to.. I wud la

77. You play a musical instrument.
Of course, the piano and my vocal chords!

78. Even if you’re totally full, if someone says they’re going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you’ll finish them.
No la..if can tar-pow, why not?

79. You’ve eaten a red bean popsicle.
Yar…but I don’t like, I prefer durian!

80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people’s homes.
Ohh..this is a MUST! If not, very pai-seh leh visit ppl!

81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
Depends lor..if cheap place, OF COURSE LA!

82. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
Where is business????

83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you’re married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.
No la…this one fail la..I live in completely different country!

84. You don’t tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
I’m not a tip-happy person!

85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
Ok mah….no meh?

86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don’t eat the last piece of food on the table.
Depend lor….if MIL tell me to eat, I wallop lor!

87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
If not 88, jialatt la!

88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese friends.
Some truth la…. who want to do? I can’t believe I had to make my answers in PINK, 88 times…jialattttt!

I gonna ask MamaBok to do…coz she’s the only crazy chinese blogger I know in Canada!