Hand me a shovel someone..
I need to dig a really deep deep deep hole. For myself.
Whenever No.1’s classes ends, No.1 and No.2 will have a big race to the car. But, because we have to cross a road, they’d do a skidding stop there. Panting..and waiting for slowpokey mama and her stroller baby.
Well, a few days ago, it was just like normal, but as I approached, No.2 started pointing and shouted outloud to me (yes..they always think I’m deaf), "Why is that boy’s face like that?? Mu-um, why is that boy’s nose like that?"
WHAM! Before I even looked at that boy, I knew who No.2 was talking about.
DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! I was screaming in my head.
Y’see, this lil boy has some form of genetical disease, not quite Down Syndrome, and to be honest, I’m not quite sure what it is. His face is slightly deformed in such a way that his nose and eyes doesn’t look like the average kid. He’s also slightly blind and walks with a cane.
No.1’s school is a school that accepts kids with special needs. I’ve seen kids with walking canes, hearing aids and one kid even has a whole bag of equipment (filled with tubes) that he brings everyday. I feel my kids are quite lucky in that sense, to be able to learn and experience about such uniqueness and diversity.
So… back to the story. I was completely horrified.
I quickly told No.2, "Hey! Don’t point like that ~ it’s rude. He’s just a lil boy, y’know. Just like you".
I saw the mom and she looked at me as if to say, "Your kid is so damn rude! How dare he say such things?"
Ok..I was just imagining she was saying that..who knows what was going through her mind.
So, I quickly said, "I’m so so sorry".
As I said that, I realised she could have interpreted it as, "I’m so sorry that your child looks like that", to which I quickly said again,
"I’m so so so sorry".
To which I realised, she could have interpreted it as, "I’m so sorry that your child was born this way".
Doing a mental shake in my head, I said one more time, "I’m so sorry!".
She just smiled and said, "It’s Ok".
I was not sure if she knew what I meant by "I’m so sorry". I just wanted her to know that I was sorry, No.2 had to be so damn rude! I felt so bad inside!!
Yes yes..he’s just 3 years old and he doesn’t understand a lot of things..and of course is very curious. In fact, he often stares at kids with special needs (when they go shopping) and wonders why they walk/talk like that. This bad slowpokey mama hasn’t been explaining to him much about them!
So..as we walked back to the car, I told him, "You can’t just point at people like that and shout y’know. It’s kinda rude. He’s just a little boy..and he has the same feelings like you".
To which, he replied, "So… if I can’t point like that (he gestures with his index finger)…can I point with my thumb??"
*slaps forehead*
I had earlier taught him how to point politely (and apparently, it’s a Malaysian thing..to point with our thumbs. Aussies here find it utterly hilarious..like we’re mentally handicapped or something!)..and this is the result of my teachings!
U think dats bad. My son once pointed his finger at a young Indian boy & his mother and went “Eiyeeee… Indian errr…” *Pengsan*
Comment by adrian — June 27, 2009 @ 1:55 pm
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. He is so young and most parents, especially those with ‘different’ kids would be prepared for things like that and probably quite used to it. Not that it’s right or wrong, but it’s just life…..both sides have lessons to learn.
Comment by Big Pumpkin — June 28, 2009 @ 8:12 am
My #2 once commented in front of a lady with her hair dyed red that the lady looked like a clown and wearing a wig! Another time, my #1 pointed to an obese man and excitedly told me that the man was fat fat!
Comment by health freak — June 28, 2009 @ 9:03 am
This is a good time to go home and explain to him … about disabled children as well as pointing. Strike while the iron is hot. Little D’s schools also accepts children with special needs and there is one in every class. When my older 2 were there, that’s when I taught them all about them. Am doing the same now with Little D. It also helps that the teacher does the same too - esp when the special needs child is at special therapy and not in class. Also try speaking to their teacher to try to explain to them why these children are special!!
Comment by SAHM — June 28, 2009 @ 9:41 pm
Sigh
My son likes to laugh when other kids fall down!
Comment by yenjai.net — June 29, 2009 @ 12:55 am
You haven’t seen Mei Mei at work yet. She’s loud, YES I MEAN LOUD! You also can’t shut her up. She’ll go “Botak ah”, “Fat fat ah”, and I swear I’ve been teaching her not to be rude. Sob. Sob.
Comment by Immomsdaughter — June 29, 2009 @ 4:08 am
I did not know that pointing with the thumb is a Malaysian thing. I have also started teaching my son to point with a thumb.
Well sometimes kids can’t help it and after all it is also the same frankness and innocence in them that make them so endearing at times. But I guess this incident provide you a good opportunity to talk to them about kids who different than them.
Comment by WMD — June 29, 2009 @ 8:12 am
i can imagine how no. 2 asked you about using the fingers. LOL. Ashley also doesn’t understand these things eventhough I’ve told her not to stare or make remarks. She asked out loud one day when she saw a big girl lying in a big stroller
I wish Barney or Hi-5 has an episode on this so that she could watch and learn 
Comment by mommy to chumsy — June 29, 2009 @ 10:22 am
it is kind of tough to explain it to the kids. maybe next time can pick up some pictures of the less fortunate and explain to them?? Tough job tough job…:P
Comment by blinka.li — June 30, 2009 @ 7:32 am
Its worse when they start commenting in an enclosed space like an elevator for example.
Comment by mumsgather — June 30, 2009 @ 11:53 pm
Claudia was asking a girl why her face is so dirty but actually she got red birth marks on her face and nose. I was trying so hard to control my laughter and at the same time feel so bad cause Claudia is just 3 and she don’t understand. I’m so afraid the girl parents will get angry with her.
Comment by Mrs.Wallace — July 1, 2009 @ 3:21 am
Kids will be kids. Lots of firefighting. You can never teach them everything at one go. Just one step at a time.
Comment by jonzz — July 2, 2009 @ 1:25 am
I really know what u mean…everytime when they see the disabled/special needs…I would pray very hard in my heart ‘dun say it…dun say it!!!’ I tried to explain to them, but I dun think they get it. My boys r really slow in their ‘emotional intelligence’ le…sigh!
Comment by Lil' Monsters, Inc. — July 2, 2009 @ 8:32 am
*hand over the shovel* don’t worry too much la. it’s part of their growing phase. at least ppl are more forgiving when comes out from a child’s mouth. i have a mid 30 yo man at home who blurts out “the truth” within ppl’s earshot. that one lagi embarrassing leh.
Comment by Vien — July 2, 2009 @ 10:46 pm
Adoi! I would have fainted liow. And donno where to hide.
But then. what to do? Kids maaa…
Comment by Nomadic Mom — July 3, 2009 @ 2:11 pm
Gosh! I would like you, need to dig a hole and bury myself alive……you must be embarrassed. But what to do. kids. They dont know those things.
Comment by Rose — July 4, 2009 @ 8:26 am