mott’s mutterings

My kids. They don’t call me, Mama anymore.

My kids. They don’t call Mr.T, Papa anymore.

I feel so sad. We liked being called Mama and Papa. Very chinese-y.

I am now, Mu-um (to No.1) and Mummy (to No.2).

Mr.T is now, Da-ad (to No.1) and Father (to No.2).

Mum, Mummy, Dad and Father.

Sigh…..

I‘d imagine this is what they’ll remember me by when they are 36, 33 and 30 respectively. Of course, at this point of time, I should be dead. Hopefully.

No.1 : Remember how she used to beat the hell out of us?

No.2 : Yea man…she was one scary mama! I remember how she used to tell me if I didn’t eat fast enough, she’d dump me in the rubbish bin. She had the cheek to ask me which bin colour I wanted…red, yellow or green!

No.3 : No..I don’t remember her beating me or dumping me in the bin..

No1 and No.2 : Of course not! You were the youngest….if we had another brother or sister, she might’ve done it to you! 

No.2 : Remember how she used to throw all our toys away and scared the heebeejeebees outta us?

No.1 : Yea man, she first threw all our cars away…then our train sets….she’s CRAZY!

No.3 : NO…I don’t remember her wanting to throw any toys away….

No.1 : I think you guys were really lucky. I had the worst! Everytime I did something wrong, she’d take me to the garage and gave me one helluva beating! I also remembered one of the weirdest punishment was that she’d make me put my hands on the wall and ask me to stare at it for HOURS!

No.2 : Did she ever pinch u silently and give you that death stare whenever there were guests around and she wanted u to behave?

No.1 : [LOL] Yea man!!!!! She was CRAZY!

No.3 ; NO…I don’t remember her pinching me…but I remember her death stare… man, that was scary!

No.2 : I think the worse thing was her crazy looney screaming and yelling for us to behave! Man..she was CRAZY! Remember what she’d always say?

No.1, No.2 and No.3 : [nods heads in agreement] DON’T STRESS MAMA OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So..there you go. I’m seriously one crazy mama. I’m no mother theresa! If my MIL keeps to her word and buys me a rotan………. I think this future conversation will have added stories. Heh… 

Ok…I think I just need to detoxify my body even more. Sigh…. it’s all making me real cranky!

Despite my very bestest efforts in doing the best for my kids, this happens.

I very very very kek-sum la. You know how MANY years I have been shouting at them to "SIT BACK" whenever they watch TV?

You know how MANY litres of saliva I wasted shouting at them?

I sometimes wonder WHY I bother?

I just hope that this was not a direct result of spending too much time watching TV watching the TV too near. I hope it’s just a genetic thing…at least, I can say it was unavoidable! If they were spending too much time watching TV, then it’s really MY fault, isn’t it? How come this mother adopted this kind of babysitter?

Do you know how frustrated I am because I know that he WILL lose his glasses..and I WILL get very annoyed because we have to buy NEW ones..which costs an arm, leg, neck and nose! So damn bloody expensive man!

I give up la……..I should really save all my saliva and voice and not shout at them anymore. Not shout, "DON’T TOUCH!". Not shout, "FINISH YOUR DINNER NOW!". Not shout, "CLEAN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then again, how NOT to? Then I’m not really a mother anymore…I’m just a maid! WAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAKAAK! 

I sound like a rapper……y’know the OPP one. Did I just get blank looks? Ah well…….

OCD .. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I suspect No.1 has it. Ever since we moved to this place, I have found that he is getting more anxious in getting things right in the house. I sorta noticed it when we were in KL, but it was fairly mild. I just thought he was a neat kind of person. He would make his bed everymorning, ensuring that his blanket covered his entire bed properly. No mess in his room, that kind of thing.

When we moved here, I noticed that he would re-arrange all our slippers and shoes and put them properly.

Then, he would arrange all our placemats on the dining table properly and the tissue box MUST be in the center.

So, everytime he returns from school, he’d first go to all our rooms, and make our beds. He would make every single bed properly. Anything that is not supposed to be in the room, he’d throw it out. Then, he go to the dining table and push all the chairs in, and ensure all the placemats are placed properly. Even when I ask him to set the forks n spoons, he’d do it with precision. Mind you, he’s only 5! 

I’m a lil worried because I’m wondering if it’s an environmental factor (because we moved so many times, and with the new baby and all), or it’s inborn. I checked online and there are two schools of thought. But, both schools of thought say that it’s treatable. 

Sigh…. I just wonder if I’m ignoring him so much that it’s developed to this stage or what! I find he’s also quite sensitive nowadays and would get truly upset when small lil things don’t go his way. Like the other day, his Jap Slippers broke and it was as if, his dog died! He refused to let me buy a new one, he refused for me to throw his old one away…..! It was very upsetting for him…and me to see him so disraught over a cheap pair of slippers!

And the No.2? He’s going thru Middle Child Syndrome. Poor kid. He’s soooo sticky. He gets really upset when I’m not around. He sticks to me like glue when I’m feeding No.3. I’m feeling all torn up inside.

Mr.T asked me this afternoon, if it would have been better to have just one kid. I replied, it’s hard to go back to one kid now…now that I know how much ‘fun’ I’m having with three! But, I feel so exhausted everynight! I just am so thankful that I have the night to relax….putting them early to bed, has been a lifesaver for me……..

Now..I have to sort out all these issues with No.1 and No.2…………. haiz…… 

Heh..sounds so S&M!

But it’s not. A lot of mums commented on the time I put my kids to bed.

See..here’s the thing, because I am a stay at home mum…I’m stuck with my kids the entire day. So, being a really selfish mum, I really cherish my nights … as an adult, with other adults.

So, when it comes to naps / sleep, I am quite strict about the times. 

No.1 was an Ok sleeper. He won’t sleep, unless necessary.

No.2 is a GREAT sleeper..he loves his noon nap and loves to go to sleep. 

So far, No. 3 is showing signs of being a great sleeper. He sleeps quite a fair bit. About 15-17 hours. At am feeds, he wakes once.

I trained them from young, to sleep by themselves.

Was there any crying? OF COURSE!

No.1 cried like mad, 6 months when he was 2 1/2 years old. Man..that was the worst!

No.2 cried for 2 weeks (10mins) when he was 4 months.

No.3 …well, because I started him so young, at 3 weeks….. he kinda gets it that there aren’t any cuddles when it’s sleep time.

There’s alot of people who can’t stand the Cry-It-Out method..I get it. It hurts. But I keep telling myself, I’m not making him cry…I’m teaching him to self-soothe himself. If anyone out there who is thinking of doing it, have a very strong will, not to succumb to their cries. Once you do, you’ll have to start ALL OVER AGAIN..which is, of course, MORE CRYING!

Be strong.it works.

Ok..I’m darn sleepy..and it’s only 9.30pm….man, I’m tired. I’ve been sweeping autumn leaves into my garbage bin the whole afternoon……so tired! 

No. 2 is amazingly articulate for his age. He’s 3months shy of his 3rd birthday..but his speech is nothing short of amazing.

To me, of course. Because No.1 took quite a while to speak, I naturally didn’t put any pressure on No.2.

These are some examples :

1. Mr. T was going out with No.1 to the petrol station, to pump some air into their bikes. As both of them were getting ready…No.2 suddenly turned around and said, "HEY! What about me?"

2. It was time for his evening shower. I told him, to get ready. He told me, "No! I’m not finished yet". I said, "No…you have to take your shower now!". He replies, "No..I want Mama to shower me.".

I told him, "But…. I can’t shower you right now, I’m feeding the baby".

He replies, "Then you put the baby down to sleep, and you can shower me!".

O.o

And finally, this…

3. He was screaming, crying, throwing the biggest tantrum, as Mr.T hauled him off for his shower. Still sobbing, after the shower, Mr. T asked him to not cry anymore. Mr.T tried to reassure him that everything was ok.

He says, "No..it’s not ok. I’m sad. I miss Mama very much".

Haiz…………………………….I miss him more. I’m going to miss No.1 when school starts (next week). I’m missing out on alot. Sigh…I think I have too much hormones la….

Wait..the password…I’m still drafting my posts first. Will get around to it!

With response to S-A-H-M’s comment, I just updated my other blog. I realised that I haven’t been updating both blogs properly.

No…haven’t popped. Don’t want to yet! 

Anyway, I just got an invitation. Ok, not me. No.1 got invited to his first ‘dress-up’ birthday party. He has to come in his favourite movie character costume. SO, yesterday, I asked him, "If you’re going to Joshua’s birthday party, which superhero would you like to be? Superman, Spiderman, Batman or Ninja Turtle". Ok..these are the most popular costumes sold in the stores. So, like not much choices la!

His reply?

"WONDER WOMAN".

?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Father and Mother dropped jaws.

I said, "Errr..you can’t exactly be wonder woman, you don’t have boobies".

He said, "I WANT! I WANT!".

OH! OH!!!! What are we going to do? Why wonder woman? WHY WHY WHY?????!!!!!!!!!!

Sei-lor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Father decides he’ll make a costume for him. A Thunderbird costume. Like the other 5 year old kids would know who/what Thunderbirds are. *rolls eyes*

Anyway… what would be a budget for the present? I have 20 probable other birthday invites to consider this year. If it’s 40.00, that means, I’d have to spend at least 800.00 alone on gifts! 

*Pengsans*

I think I’m reducing my budget quite significantly……sigh…….. sorry la kids. This Mama is really tight on the money la! 

Sighhhhhhh……

My eldest in school. Ok, it’s just prep (i.e., Year 6 kinder)..but still..it’s in a primary school, which allows him to continue his primary years there. A smoother transition in that sense. My lil guy, a big boy! The first picture I took… reminds of those B&W photos, where one would be so serious when posing. Sigh…..

He was adamant in not going to school when we first arrived here. He seemed really afraid. Then, I think it got to him..he felt he needed interaction with his peers. Especially, since I have some family where there are similiar aged boys…and they had class pictures to show off.

Well, he was VERY excited to go..and was excited to stay. He didn’t even say goodbye to me. My No.2 … I had a tough time, trying to tear him away from class. I can just imagine that when he goes to pre-school, he’ll probably ignore me too! 

I must be such a terrible mum that they are extremely pleased in getting away from me. 

*pouts* 

I just realised…I forgot how pregnant I am.

I saw the ObGyn yesterday and he asked me, how far along was I. I blinked blankly at him and said, I lost count. He chuckled and looked up that round dial thingy…. which he then said, "33 weeks, 4 days".

Ah….so that’s how far along I was. I just remembered my EDD, but didn’t really bother about the week.  Hehe…. talk abt slackr ma! BUT! My lil bun is doing well, doing somersaults…happy hiccupping, kicking and literally pushing the shit out of me. Yes! He makes me poo! Imagine..what a clever child…won’t let me get constipated.. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Anyway, updates on that poor guy that passed away. Okla…gossip sikit la. Apparently, he didn’t tell his folks he had a super bike. So, the news of his death was a HUGE shock to them. Poor parents. I am pretty sure they were very devastated at the fact that he not only passed away, but he keeps many things to himself. 

Sigh..that’s what I fear most. As a parent. If my child was bullied, would I be the one he’d tell? If my child (assuming adult age) decides to convert to a Muslim or be gay…would he be afraid of telling me? Then, there are drugs, smoking, alcohol…..ALAMAK! Why did I decide to have children? I must have been drunk when I decided to have kids.

Sometimes, I think I am the culprit. Like I’d ask No.1, "Nice or not today’s dinner? NICE OR NOT???????"…growling at the same time.

He’d look at me in panic, and say, "Yes..yummy yummy". Sigh…Then at the back of my head, I ask myself….. is he telling me the truth, or he just doesn’t want to get in trouble.  

Sometimes, I really pity my sons, for I do put the ‘fear’ in them. I’m so evil leh… I’m sure I’d get punished one way or the other…. sigh…. 

‘Nuff is ’nuff…..Let’s put a cork on depressive posts.

Here’s one..that you guys probably have discussed with your children..or your kids have surprised you with their perception. Their perception of what’s nice and what’s not nice.

Perhaps their interpretation of what money can buy. I’m very fortunate to have many friends. Some of them are normal, some are super-rich. Either way, they treat me the same…that is, I find no difference. Even the super-rich ones can be a tad more kiam-siap than the normal ones. Yes…ratty clothes are on their kids…just like mine..when at home.

At this point of time, Mr.T and I have been on the lookout for a home of our own. The rental place we’re staying is quite spacious, but it’s really old. So, the doors, cupboards, carpets, curtains have lived a glorious life wayyyyy back in the 70s. Now…they’re just there to continue serving their purpose.

So…we’ve been inspecting all types of homes. The boys seem to like every house we walk into.  Which is great sign la….obviously, means no bad spirits hanging around.

Then…during dinner one night, my eldest turns to me and shows me…

"I don’t want this one".

"I don’t want this one also".

"I want this one. Yes….this one is very nice. Buy this one". Pointing to the last house.

Bear in mind. Each and every house he pointed to, costs above AUD500K.

HOW?