mott’s mutterings

I’ll tell you something. I probably have Alzheimer’s already.

I haven’t yet gotten around to scolding people or taking my knickers off.. ohh..can’t wait till I get there, and deny that I actually did it! But, I’ve got quite a bad memory and I have forgotten quite a lot of things already.

Like the last time I fought with Mr.T and what we fought about. It is quite recent…so, don’t think we have a happy-go-lucky marriage yea. We have a very normal marriage..where we do fight. Very loudly. Thing is, I can’t remember what.

And then, there are many incidences of my distant past that I seriously cannot remember. But ex-schoolmates will tell me how I did this, or how I did that. And I’m like, I did that? NOOOOOO..that wasn’t me! I wasn’t that insane! And the same for college and uni.

I swear..I was a very good girl. Just with lots of energy.

Anyway, yesterday being a public holiday, I took my mom out for her very first picnic in many years. Granted it wasn’t the most conducive picnic-weather..but nevertheless, I was determined to show her why picnics are fun!

We went to the Royal Botanical Gardens. Now, I have been going to the Botanical Gardens for picnics for some time now. I love it. The problem is…I see a gorgeous sea of grass…and I’ll plonk all kids, picnic mat and food and that’s it. I’m planted. 

I don’t do the walk around the Gardens. I did that many years ago, and I thought ..why bother..the trees are all the same, eh?

But I encouraged my mom to do the walk. She loves flowers..and loves looking at plants. And so she did. 

After her rounds, she came back and asked if I saw the Herb Garden. I’m like yea yea..would love to see it. 

I walk in there..and I’m like, WHAM! 

It hits me. I was here. 7 years ago! In this same Herb Garden, with my parents. All those memories came flooding back to me.

I was heavily pregnant with No.1 at that time. I was big big big and so big, but I managed to waddle around the gardens. I remember walking in here…looking at all the mint and thinking..bah..just mint. Need. To. Sit. Down. Feel. Like. Bursting.

Funny..how I remember all the specifics, seeing that I have such a bad memory. 

Has something like this triggered a good/bad memory for you before?

And yes… as I walked out, I still thought to myself…Bah! So much mint! Mint’s too easy to propagate! Grow something difficult Botanical Garden staff!!!!

Now, by now, you know I’m a super practical person. If there was a line between A to Z, I just go across it. I won’t bother with C, G or X. If it works, I say, don’t break it. I often don’t buy stuff, because it just collects dusts. Yes, that means, decorating your home with ornaments, vases and lil trinkets. It’s just not me. Give me pots, pans and dishes that can be stored away neatly.

So, this happy balance in me, is sometimes rocked by my other half. He has the craziest ideas sometimes, and I must admit, they do work sometimes. 

And so there is obsession with Feng Shui. Yes, my husband. He’s not into the Lilian Too type, where you buy a frog and place it in the south-east wing of your house, and it will make you tons of money. Nobody told you it’d be in rupiah. He’s more into the what’s the best direction for each person type Feng Shui. The positions we sleep in. The positions we enter the house in.

For years, I’ve indulged him. When we were renovating, I allowed him to change the directions of doors and sleeping positions, so, it’ll all suit us. To me, as long as I can walk through that door, yes, I’m ok. 

Today, yes, this morning, he tells me I must enter the home, using a rarely used door. This door is between my living area and backyard. I normally go through the kitchen. This said door, is permanently locked, and rightly so, as there is no point entering through it! 

But, its’ said to be my ‘best’ position. 

So, I made some noise. He retorted by saying, I was not even willing to try this idea.

I told him, if I do that, will I win the lottery?

He confidently says, "YES!"

"You’ll have a 30% chance!".

Errr..yea, right! How about a 100% chance?!

He claims I’d be less stress, if I at least tried it out for 1 month.

I’m like, "If I do try it out for one month (this month)…OF COURSE I’D BE LESS STRESS!!! I’D HAVE A HOME TO MYSELF!"

What nonsense!!!!

I argued with him, on HOW impractical it is for me to go one big round from the living room to the kitchen, especially if I have a tot, and heavy bags of groceries to carry! And..let’s talk about laundry! And what if there’s a cooking emergency? I can’t dash straight into my kitchen? I’d have to go through the living area?

WHAT CRAP!

But you know what? This is a marriage. A marriage where we agreed to compromise and try out things.

And..in the end, I told him. Fine, I will go through this silly door for ONE MONTH.  Even though, I’ve turned out OK, without the help of fengshui for the last 20odd years. I will see if it really helps me or not.

I seriously doubt it..but for love, I will humor him. It makes him happy. And me, running big circles. 

Hmph.

What is the biggest thing you’ve compromised with your spouse with?

Watching too many Star Wars, that my No.1 son.

He’s been following it intently, from the fight scenes..to the love scenes. Luckily, no 3star p()rn there. So, yes…I think he’s liking this Padme character quite a bit.

So much so, one day, he sat down and announced, "When I marry, she will have dark brown hair and brown eyes…"

I quickly shushed him up. I told him, "If you ever marry, find a girl with a kind heart. Don’t see if she’s pretty. You just make sure she has a kind and nice heart".

"Heart is more important than how she looks".

He carefully considered my answer and then asked, "Did Papa marry you because you had a kind heart?"

Started to fluster. "Errm.. errm"

How do I tell my son, his father was staring at my butt and decided to pursue me because of that? "Papa married me because Ma’s backside is prettier than her face?"

I just said, "I don’t know why Papa married me, you go and ask him, when he comes back, k?"

Heh! *claps hands clean*

I’m such a wimp, when it comes to answering these kinds of questions.

Not to gross the guys out..but I need to share this.

My SIL was sharing with me, the other day, how she felt her ovaries feeling heavy after her first cervical cancer vaccination. Now, this is the very first time hearing of this. For me.

Feeling your ovaries. 

Having removed a cyst and give birth to 3 babies before, I’ve never ‘felt’ my ovaries before.

I’ve felt gas in my intestines. Seriously..I felt it travel from my intestines…to my, well, you know.

I’ve also felt heavy when my colons felt constricted. Yes yes..lack of water and fibre. 

BUT!

Never ever felt my ovaries. 

Which makes me wonder. Is it similar to feeling crampy?, I asked. 

Nope.

Err.. Other than feeling crampy…. what does it feel like?

She had no answer. Just, y’know…ovaries. Heavy.

Like.. d-uh…I have no clue. 

So…if anyone out there..has have had this feeling. Please do share with me. 

What do ovaries feel like?

Men, are invited to answer as well!

How do you women do it?

When Mr.T is away, my role here is just to be a mother. Occasionally, a daughter. Quite rarely, a wife.

Y’see, I’m not the lovey-dovey kind. If the man goes..he goes. If he doesn’t call, means all is ok. If he calls, something’s really wrong, someone’s dead..or, he wants to buy something and needs my opinion. Serious. 

But when Mr.T is here, every fibre, vein, artery and intestine in my body has to turn from mother, to wife, back to mother, then mother and wife again. 

Mother, wife, mother, wife, mother, wife.

How the heck does anyone keep up? I tell ya, it’s super tiring! And then, I get guilty for not being a daughter!

And then there’s the sleeping! How the heck does anyone get used to snoring? After weeks of quiet sleep, suddenly there’s this person, snoring in my ear.

Anyway, recently, we went for a really short holiday. An overnight trip. The kids had lots of fun, even the littlest one. Then came the sleeping part. There were 5 beds. FIVE. F-I-V-E.

And yet, the 2 eldest kids kept getting up because they weren’t used to all the snoring. The youngest one, and I slept together. And he occupied 80% of the bed. And that wasn’t enough..he still wanted to sleep on top of me. 

I can never fathom how moms can sleep with their bubs. I know I never get a good night’s rest if I did that. They are super-restless sleepers and I know I’ll only end up bein’ Missy Grouchy. 

Which pretty much summed up what happened the next day. 

With sleep deprivation, I forgot all abt my mobile phone and left it there. And only found out when I reached home. 

Need a holiday after holiday after holiday. 

Oh wait! I just blogged!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

because.. I think I’ve lost it.

The mott-jo. To blog. To write. To just.

I think life is catching up too fast with me. I keep thinking, Black Eye Peas probably had something going on with their "I gotta feeling", with 2 saturdays. Who wouldn’t want 2 saturdays?

I do. I want time to read, eat, crap, sew and do my projects!

If I had one Saturday..that’s what I would do. No housework, no cooking chores, no gardening, no taking care of kids. Just that one Saturday. 24 hours. Not even to sleep.

But. No such thing.

And..she leaves.

With a heave of sigh.  

Well, teachers are important, because, they can instill a love of learning in us. Plus, they know what they’re teaching (well, most of the time) and can’t get their facts wrong (again, most of the time).

If you leave it up to me, the parent to do the teaching, oh! you’ll definitely get answers.

Not necessarily the right ones, but the answer will be given with much gusto and confidence, you (the student) will be convinced it’s the right one!

Ahem.

So, here I am, taking charge of 1 table of 5 students. Bright eyed bushy tailed, ready to get their work all done. Seemed easy enough, just had to place all modes of transportation based on their elements ~ water, road, air, rails.

One kid didn’t know what a jeep was. Easy, know a hummer. Well, a hummer was originally a jeep. But, the army used it…and made it into a hummer.

Easy, hor?

Eagerly, he nods his head. 

Sigh..this parent duty job ~ too easy.

Oh! What’s a aircraft carrier?

I tsked in my head. What’s an aircraft carrier. Too easy.

You know .. that BIG plane that carries loads of boxes. Yea…that’s an aircraft carrier.

Or so I thought.

Teacher came, and marked their sheets and noted..all of them got the aircraft carrier wrong.

Showed the picture on the screen.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 

Freakin’ warship!

5 pairs of eyes glared accusingly at me………

I raised my arm and gave a sheepish sorry..I was the one who told them it was a huge plane. 

Hee hee hee hee….

So..yea. I know now, I suck as a teacher. But I am great at convincing people!

I’m absolutely bursting with pride, with this post. I will not be shy to say that Numero Tre is an absolute genius. Only 17 months old and he’s accomplished and amazed me in so many ways/things.

Here’s some examples :

1) I was in a yelling mode the other day, telling everyone to pick up, pick up, pick up their toys. Told them, I didn’t want to see toys all over the floor, put their toys in their appropriate bins, and NO toys on the sofa! Of course, I was only hollerin’ at the 1st and 2nd kid. All of the sudden, No.3 spotted a small pot that he secretly took from my cabinet, and ran to the kitchen. Open it up and desperately tried to shove it in. And the close the door quickly. As if I couldn’t see. The cheeky boy didn’t understand that he had shoved in pot first, handle last and of course, door couldn’t be shut.

Gave me a sheepish smile, as I helped him.

2) I was looking high and low for his water bottle..but I didn’t tell anyone. Finally, frustrated, I asked No.2 to help me find it. After all, he’s shorter than me..and could have a better vision of things on the ground. All of the sudden, No.3 taps my shoulder, as if to ask me to wait, runs to one corner, and brings me the water bottle.

I was, to say the least, astounded.

3) He knows how to get his own way, with this big brothers. He just screeches in the highest pitch possible. He knows, that terrifies the boys…and they will give him whatever he wants. Oh..he’s such a manipulative lil boy.

But that doesn’t work with me, unfortunately. I just give him the eye. 

4) I cannot tell you, how many words he’s already said to me. I’ve lost track. He is amazing in his speech.

You can tell, I’ll be losing lotsa hair, when he turns 2, with his reasonings. 

5) He has actually trained himself to do the Number 2 (big biz). Himself. He’d actually sit on the pot by himself. Insists too. When he’s done his business, he’ll say, "GO!".

The only thing that he has not done, till today, and to be fair, his 2 other brothers too, is to call me, "Mama". 

He has no problems calling everyone else, but "Mama". 

Perhaps having older siblings really helped in all this. Plus, I really have forgotten what No.1 and No.2 did at his age, so I really can’t compare. 

Ok..that’s enuff bursting with pride for me. I need to pee now. 

Disclaimer : By writing this post, I’m not saying my kid is better than yours. I’m a real lazy ass mama, and really don’t bother with teaching him everything like I did with No.1. So…all these achievements are really his, at his own pace. And I’m so proud, because I didn’t have to stress myself out, getting him to do it all at a certain age.

Ok..Ok..go ahead. Just say it, "SHOW OFF!".